Why Do We Do This?

Well Jason, as usual we're secretly in sync with each other!  In your lastest entry on Magic and Mind and Psychology you discuss the need to not just be magically delicious but to have your shit together too.  I just sent an entry to my editor for Week 13 of the New Year, New You: An Experiment in Radical, Magical Transformation on this topic as well.  I also discussed that it's okay to have mostly mundane goals there too.  Spooooooooooooooooooky.

But it also made me contemplate why do I do magic and how do I feel about psychology and magic?  Because, as Jason said, there are easier ways to get power, prestige, money, love, etc.

Hmmm. 

From a spellwork perspective, if you are more into "low" magic over "high" magic, you may not truck much with spirits.  You may ask God/dess/es or totems or ancestors for help but you may not get into the world of angels and demons and other various spirits.  You may just say, God.  (Scandalous!)  You may . . .and this is where things get touchy . . .not have any significant meditational practice at all.  (le gasp!) You may only be minorly concerned with enlightenment or magical powers and personal growth may be something you look at from a mundane perspective primarily.

I just described myself, honestly.  But not just me, lots of kitchen witches, hearth witches and hoodoo practitioners as well.  Possibly Wiccans (almost none of my sisters have a real steady meditation/power gathering format that they use outside of circle to the best of my knowledge) and ADF Druids (. . .we're totes supposed to meditate but I have a rudimentary practice at best and I still have my card but no actual dedicants' book despite the fact that I did cycle two of the dedicants program *and* contributed data to the program but oooooh Jow joins and you just send him a book no questions asked.  I'm looking at you, Kirk.  Ahem.  Anyway it stands to reason that there are many other ADF members who attend their groves faithfully as I do and suck at meditating.  Especially since ADF is primarily celebratory, at least in my grove). 

I find if you're not trying to get super into the spirit world, your spells fall under the following categories:  love, money, protection, hexing and health.  Ta-da!  Not everyone is really fantastic at communicating with the spirit world and that's okay too.  It is one aspect of a strong magical practice, but it's not the only one.  Faith can take you a long way along with offerings (especially when you don't have your hand out).  Maybe you have a steady magical practice to get ahead and keep things running smoothly and that's all you need.  Frankly, it's all I need.  And if I never get enlightened or get infinite cosmic powers, I'm really okay with that as well.  It's not really part of my bracket of goals.  I don't need a never ending amount of people attracted to me, I don't need to be rich, I don't need a lot of things.  I've learned from my divorce, mo' money mo' problems.

I do magic to (consensually) keep my relationship good, to keep bringing in money with a day job, that I can handle minor problems like a car problem, to keep things smooth in my family, to help me keep making money as a writer and a crafter, to protect my home and occasionally when I'm irritated enough, to smack someone's ass down.  And . . .that's it. That's all I need. 

Because my magic tends to be more faith based, how it works is less important to me than having it work.  Maybe it's somewhat psychologically based, maybe it's not.  Listen, I get why it's important.  I have fibromyalgia.  The way we're treated varies a lot based on whether that person thinks it's "all in your head" (psychological) or it's actual neurological damage (hard science!).  But at the end of the day, no one knows for sure yet if fibro is psychological or science based or both and no one knows about magic.  But . . .I still have fibro and magic still works.  If you ever want to be validated because someone is scoffing at you, offer v. sincerely to do work on their behalf.  Because I've found that backs that train up real fast.  Everyone in my life who has scoffed has also refused to let me do magic on their behalf.  Obviously, some part of them believes that I have the power to change their lives in some way.  Last I checked, that's what magic is.

[New Year, New You] I don't know what it meant to me/ I just know it affected me (My Response to: Wheel of Morality)

I'm definitely feeling a bit nostalgic about ending the public portion of New Year, New You: An Experiment in Radical Magical Transformation though I'm already hitting the ground running to keep up with the second segment eCourse prompts.

What have I learned?

The world has an egregor of like minded, magical, perfectionistic, thoughtful, funny, awe inspiring people who will be scarily synchronistic with myself and each other.

The people who stuck out the Experiment all the way through (or are in process of doing so) really threw themselves whole heartedly into committing to do magic in the truest sense of the word - they devoted themselves to changing themselves and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of the world around them.  Everyone else's work constantly inspired me to keep working just as hard as they did because the things that these Charmers were bringing to life are special and important and I wanted to be part of that magical experience.


I still get scared and overwhelmed.  I haven't done all the things I wanted to do.  But I've done more than I have done and am accomplishing more than I ever thought I could accomplish.  This is terrifying but I won't let myself stop.


I still have moments when things are really being produced out of the ether and I'm so amazed and stunned and awed about the things I've accomplished, that I get scared and want to stop.  But I haven't let myself which is an accomplishment onto itself.

The stardust that runs through my veins and produces magic has been changed.


I've noticed in the last week or so that there has been a slight change in my own personal magical essence.  That it's stronger, faster, more charming and more capable as well as being more magical.  It's bad ass.

Thank you all for all of this.  Namaste.

Second Segment of the New Year, New You Project

Hey kids, just a reminder that as previously posted that the second segment will be an email/google group only event.  Getting signed up is easy, there's a large purple sign up box on the left of my blog.  Joining the google group is easy too.

Just as a note, you all will not necessarily get your weekly writing prompt email on the same date as it's based on when you joined the list.  In other words, your first prompt comes 4 days after you join and each prompt comes 7 days after that date.

Hope to see you all there!  

[New Year, New You] My Response to Asking for Help

So, everyone thinks that since Jow is a massage therapist, it's massage on demand at our casa.  Of course, the boy is no fool.  When we first started dating, there was *a lot* of massage.  But now a few years later, knowing that he has an hour commute each way and that most days he's on his feet doing deep tissue for anywhere from two to eight sessions (generally closer to eight), I feel like a jerk being like, baby, I know you just did this for your real job for an extended amount of time but MY TURN!

Also, he has a little specialty niche massaging fibrofoxes and he says I'm hands down the worst with pain levels so, like a doctor, it's hard for him to massage me because I'm wincing and whining and carrying on because it hurts a lot for me.  But, for it to be beneficial to me, it needs to because afterwards it's much better.

But with nannying and crafting and writing (back, shoulders, hands, right arm, right hip), for me to keep going at the pace I'm going, I need some work done on me.  So I sacked up and asked.  We were finally able to on Tuesday and as expected, it was painful for me and difficult for him.  But I felt much better afterwards.  So we're going to try to do it every month on a Tuesday (one of his "desk" days where he's not massaging) and I've calendared it to make it official.

[New Year, New You] Final Public Writing Prompt: Wheel of Morality Turn, Turn, Turn, Tell Us the Lesson that We Must Learn

I feel weirdly sad about this being our last public prompt together, Charmers.  I'd probably feel more sad if  I had slept like a normal human being last night but I had been sleeping fitfully since 3:30a and then not at all since 5a.  Good times.  Lots of weird anxiety for some reason.  All of this naturally is tres sexy for Valentine's Day.

Anyway.  This week's prompt is simple, reflect on the last nine weeks and talk about what you've learned.  About yourself, about goal setting, about your magical practice, whatever was meaningful to you.  Also reflect on where you would like to see yourself heading now that you've accomplished what you've accomplished.

Non-participating Charmers, I appreciate how patient you've been with this process and how kind you've been to myself and others during this time.  You can now look forward to a return of what passes for normal blogging here.

Participating Charmers, this time together has been v. meaningful to me and I've appreciated how you've made me laugh and cry and have let me in on a v. private part of your lives.  It's been an awesome experience bonding together and I am a better person for it and I thank you for that.

Go forth, be excellent to each other.

[New Year New You] Housekeeping Notes for the Last Week and Second Segment

So, we're in our final week for the public part of the Experiment but because I am such a glutton for punishment  maschocist  love you so much, I've decided to continue the Experiment as a free eCourse.

If you are on week 9 or close to it, please feel free to join the list using the form on the right of my blog.

Why Should I Keep Beating My Head Against This Wall With You and Your Bitch of a Muse?


* All of you have made amazing progress and I would like us to continue to make amazing progress together, being part of an Egregor/hive mind helps give that soupcon of peer pressure that must of us need to accomplish personal goals as well as giving us a cheering section for when we really need it.

* You'll have access to a super sekret by invite only Google group where you'll get to discuss the second segment as much as you would like in as much detail as you would like, giving you an even closer sense of community with your fellow Charmers who are Experimenting.

* The same general format of the first nine weeks (i.e. weekly writing prompts) only with better editing and now delivered directly to your email box.

* Continued feedback from me as you progress.

* You'll have the smug satisfaction of being part of the first alpha group to complete the Experiment in its current form.

I'm not really any where close to done yet, can I join anyway?


You could because I'm not, like, the internet police or anything but I don't think you'll get as much out of it because it picks up directly where the the first segment (the last nine weeks we've been blogging about) leaves off so it's best if you finish the first nine weeks first.

But I've fallen behind, like, a lot.  *sad face*


It's cool!  You can join the eCourse whenever you like.  The Google Group has helpful posting rules so that anyone can join the eCourse and join the conversation on the Google Group whenever they want!


Can I still get your feedback on my NY NY entries after today?


Of course!  Just leave me a link to your entry on any of the prompt pages and I will be happy to read them indefinitely.

You're totes doing the Valentine's Day drawing today, right?


Well, Charmers, I've inadvertently lied to you.  The thing is, because I'm posting the last prompt today, most of you won't have a chance to complete it today.  So I'm giving everyone a week before I do the drawing so you can do some last contest valid entries before the drawing.  I will draw next Tuesday, Feb 21st for the contest winner.

[New Year New You] Moar Shoulder to the Wheel Response

I finally feel like I've stopped failing at my own Experiment, my ass finally went to the gym (and now said ass is sore but that's neither here nor there).  Just getting there was so ridiculously fucking hard for me that I'm really proud that I finally got it done and can now hopefully start making a habit out of it.  I don't know what I think is going to happen there that I get so freaked about going.  I mean, there's no velociraptors on the treadmills or anything.

But just by starting to watch what I eat (up until last week where I discovered that fat food is now served accurately at a diner near my house (and cupcakes, sigh) and went for fancy Indian dinner which I discovered is a lot heavier than my beloved Hurry Chutney and then had grilled fish tacos (good) and a whoopie pie with mascarpone for dessert (. . . yeah) I've lost ten pounds.  But it's no joke how going out (besides carefully pre-approved non-diet-fucking venues) will screw your weight loss goals straight to hell.  I used to eat like this all the time and it's why I'm fat now.  It was a little reminder for me that if I do what I've always done I'll get what I've always gotten so knock it off.  So that too was a catalyst to go to the gym as well.

[New Year, New You] Weekly Writing Prompt: Asking for Help

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


Oh man, if last week's prompt was about as popular as polyps, you're gonna really love this week's prompt.

It's been interesting doing this Experiment so far because without even really intending to do so, we've sort of built an Egregor where most of us are generally on the same page.  If one of us is dragging ass, most of us are dragging ass, if most of us are having a rrrrrrrrrrrreow I own you kind of week, most of us are.  It's so strange and amazing and magical seeing all the synchronicities.  I'd be totes freaked out about it except even my panic is now on a tight schedule.

So, we're all getting tired and getting worn.  We're all starting to lose hope and faith in ourselves, in our goals, in our ability to do what we've set out.  All the doubts are getting bigger than our intentions.

You tell them to shut the fuck up.  Right now.  You have work to do.


So with that established (and, a friendly reminder that it's only Feb and there will be a follow up course so there's no need to start breathing into a bag just yet as we still have plenty of time to continue to be awesome), this week's prompt is about asking someone for help.  Most of us hate that shit with a hating that fires a thousand suns.  Asking for help feels almost like admitting defeat.  And by defeat, I mean admitting that you're not invincible.

Well.  You're not.  Sorry.


Asking for help can include exciting areas such as: needing medical attention in some area, starting therapy, asking your SO to do something for you around the house while you work on your goals, confiding in a friend about something that has been weighing on your mind and getting their input on the matter and considering that input, having someone read and critique your resume or writing, getting a trainer at the gym, attending a support group or asking someone else for input on your magical project (while I am far from omnipotent, if your project is not ceremonial based, I have a pretty good gen ed in magic matters.  Feel free to contact me at corvaxgirl  [at]    gmail    [dottie]    com, just let me know which blog is your and let me know you're part of the Experiment).

Go forth!

[New Year, New You] My (Partial) Response to Shoulder to the Wheel

We got this awesome picture when thrifting
for Spare Oom/Work Room.  It's our
portal to the Other World (oooooh).

Trufax: When I was in college, I took an accredited course in
Chinese calligraphy from the granddaughter of a calligraphy
Master.  The little rabbit was a gift from Jow.

This candelabra was purchased from Anthropologie during my
Florence period (still on going).

And what it is you do/ to keep your
eyes so shiny

When I think of heav'n/ deliver me in the belly of a
black winged bird

Saw them crown you May Queen/
heard you sing the sweetest thing

Close up on the cupboard and
Hedgecrosser's Mandala

And gave him the form of a fawn/ to inhabit by the day
(I made the terrarium for Jow for Yule.  The cedar chest
is his finding and St. Germain bottles are too pretty to just
recycle and not reuse)

                                                                                                          
Our ritual table
cupboard with ritual
supplies and Sarah
Lawless's print.

My serial killer focus board

A Spare Oom is not complete without
a lamp post

Legwarmers are an integral part to making a magical part of your
house.  Intregral.

Our nature spirits altar.

My spinning wheel

Hand dyed wool to be spun

[New Year, New You] A Note/ Scenes From a Pagan Household

Stop being a pain.  YOU STOP BEING A PAIN!

Me: Well?

Jow:  The first part is really beautiful but the second part seems sort of like Something You've Been Putting Off.

Me (exasperatedly): It's a focus week!  Everyone's still putting something off!  I still haven't been to the gym yet during this!  The point is to do the specific work that's required for the goals this week.  Not work on other things to help make it stick this week, just do the damn thing.

Jow: Well, presumably everyone is doing that.

Me: I'm not even doing everything I'm supposed to be doing for my goals.  Yeah, I could give you some kind of bullshit task this week or you could chose to actually do the work you're supposed to do for your goals this week at this time like I said.

Jow: Touche.  You should post about that.

Me: Besides, you don't even understand.   The people who have been doing the Experiment the whole time?  We're all, like, on the same wavelength and are thinking about doing the same things at the same time which is why these prompts have been working so well.  Sooooo, they'll get it, we're all pinging each other from the wilds of internet ether.

Jow: You're right.  I'm totes not doing enough of this to be that in touch with all y'all's processes the way you are with each other right now.  And . . .that's probably for the best.

[New Year, New You] Weekly Writing Prompt: Shoulder to the Wheel

Me: I'm tired.

My Muse (gently): I know.

Me: Sometimes this gets really hard and I feel really lost and like I'm a hamster on a wheel, running, running, running.  I surrendered myself to this Experiment, to you.  But sometimes I don't know what that means and it scares me.  I can't even do divination for anything right now, it's all spinning so fast.  Am I my best?  Will this mean something?  Will all these 6a mornings and late nights and tiredness count?  Will I get ahead and finally not be in debt?  Will I screw that up like I always do?  Will I gain the weight I lost back?  Will I fuck everything up for myself like I always do?  Will Jow leave me if I get successful like others have?  Will I get my social life back?  Am I going in the right direction?  Will my book be good?  Will my course be good?  Will my crafts be good?  Will I be good?

My Muse: This is where it's important, where it's hard and you can't see in front of you and the forest is dark.  This is where you have to believe, which you've never been good at.  This is where you can't give up.  This is where you have to keep trying, even when you're not even sure what that means, even if it feels like sometimes no one else really understands all the Work you're doing.  It's important.  You're changing your insides, one piece of a star at a time.   You can do this.  You need to do this.  This is where you start to become who you want to be.  I believe in you or I never would have chosen you.  Keep pushing, tiny one.  Keep pushing.  In the meantime, you should smoke a bowl asap, you've earned it.


So we've been doing all these awesome things to help our goals and make sure that we're looking at these goals from all sides which is great holistic work to keep us moving forward and to make sure that nothing is overlooked.  But this week it's important to work on specific things to further your goals.  What's the hardest thing for you to do?  What do you keep putting off?  Do it now.  Grit your teeth and push, baby.  You're making something beautiful, don't stop now.   Show the universe what kind of wonders you're capable of this week.

Glamour in the New World Order: We Are Who We Pretend to Be so We Must Be Careful Who We Pretend to Be

"We must dress well, or the future
will not take us seriously." - CMV

 Glamour can be a tricksy thing, I find.  On one hand, Jason is correct.  If you're interviewing for jobs in corporate America, you should be wearing a suit.  You all know how I feel about what to wear at a funeral.

But we diverge somewhat.  Because I do believe what you wear is part of who you are.  If you don't like that thought process, you're not going to like the rest of this entry either.  It's cool, we don't need to be in perfect Stepford agreement here.

More than that, it's part of your magic.  I've worn suits for work, trying to dress like my boss to get promoted.  It didn't work, I just felt like I was in drag all the time.  When I stopped giving a shit about impressing people at my work place and just wanted to do my job correctly and not get fired and frankly stopped caring past getting a paycheck, that's when the tide turned for me.  If conventional wisdom worked all the time, we'd all be CEOs of green Pagan multimillion dollar corporations, n'est-ce pas?

But yeah, when I played Nine Inch Nails in my cube and walked with purpose down the hall in heeled combat boots with sparkly laces, that's when I got promoted.  I would have kept getting promoted if I stayed but it was crushing me, living in a cube.

2012 is a year of starstorms.  I, like Gordon, invite you to think past just dressing like your boss.  You need to dress like you.  Your best you.  I invite you to start your own personal revolution.  That's what this Experiment is supposed to be about, right?  Stop coloring in the lines and worrying about being a good worker bee and start getting concerned about burning down the establishment your damn self and making shit happen for yourself.

You know what I'm supposed to be doing?  I was supposed to get another Executive Assistant job when my last company died and keep my shoulder to the wheel and keep doing what I was doing.

If you always do what you've always done, You.  Always.  Get.  What.  You've.  Always.  Gotten.  That's not what this Experiment is about.  It's about busting shit up and getting shit done.  I diverged off the path I was supposed to be on and I'm happier for it.  I make as much money as I was making as an Exec Assistant as a nanny.  A nanny.  Where I sing songs and have two to three hours of nap times a day and no direct supervision at all.  And when they don't nap anymore?  That's when I get a new fucking family.  That's how this works, every four years or so, I reset the clock and get new infants.  I've managed to turn a profit at almost every show I did for my first year out as a crafter.

I'm published all over the place in all kinds of things because I was preparing myself for the way publishing used to work.  It's great exposure and a little bit of money, but that's not what I'm doing when I write my first short book.   Who do I want to be?  Do I want to be like every indie artist trying to get a record deal for them to possibly just fire my ass when they don't like my numbers or the way I dress or that I cuss too much or do I want to be fucking Ani Difranco?

Ani Difranco, kids.

What does this have to do with glamour?  Well, while you're burning down your old ideas of how the world was supposed to work and drinking St. Germain in your pajamas at home in this new world order, you need to get to thinking about how you want to present the apres global meltdown you to yourself and others.  Glamour is magic.  A part of it is the magic of trappings, something that some Pagans and Geeks disdain in equal measures.  But not all Pagans and not all Geeks.  After all, SalonCon never would have happened if there weren't Geeks who dreamed of tea and corsets like I do.

There's a kind of Geek/Pagan privilege that  is rooted though not exclusively, predominantly in straight white middle class guys who think they shouldn't have to care about how they present themselves to the world, the gift of being their special snowflake selves should be enough for the world and if they never want to "get dressed up" for a girlfriend/a job/a wedding, they shouldn't have to.

I think you should want more for yourselves than that though because you're missing out.   SalonCon never required people to dress in suits and corsets with poofy skirts (though there were people who did), it was always about wearing what made you feel awesome and turned people's heads.

I've helped some of my more fashionably challenged friends to dress and groom themselves to be the best them that they could be.  I asked what they didn't like and why they didn't like it, what kind of budget they had and encouraged them to test their boundaries a little and helped them pick clothes that's not just appropriate to age/venue/etc but also appropriate to their own sense of style.  The transformation was always inevitably, well, like magic.

Use that knowledge.  Know yourself well enough to figure out your own sense of style while still being age and venue appropriate.  You won't get it right the first time and that's okay.  I didn't.  When I ran SalonCon I had this weird quasi-split personality where I'd have several people at once doing my hair, make up, nails and lacing me into corsets and difficult shoes so I presented myself as someone leading a convention about aesthetic should be presenting herself.  The rest of my life?  Hair in pony tail, yoga pants, t shirt and Uggs.  Did I feel my best in my day to day life?  No.  I did not.  I had such whiplash going from one extreme to another with the added stress of no longer being able to dress like a teenager/early twentysomething I didn't know what the fuck to do with myself.

I knew what looked good when I was 20, it was harder for me to figure out what looked good (and appropriate) once I got past the age of 25.   When my mom or my boss wanted to give input on what I should wear, it always felt kind of like wearing drag.  All that time being too disspirited to try to figure out didn't just affect my self esteem, it affected my magic because I felt out of step with myself.  I worked hard to figure out what looked good, was reasonably age appropriate and still felt like me.  That's part of the trick too, figuring out what the "rules" are for you and your life and then figuring out just how far you can bend them before they break.  It will be a work in progress as you age and your various life circumstances change but it's worth investing not just the time and money but the energy into.  The more energy you put into it, the more you'll be able to draw on your own personal glamoury in your magic.  Figure out what looks good on you and feels like you.  Figure out what makes you feel powerful about your appearance and use it, godsdamn it.  It's just one more facet to your magical self.

[New Year, New You] Glamour in the Year of the Hustle

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


So, I expected to be writing my response to the prompt just before writing the new prompt as I've been doing, but I actually had yesterday off which was nice.  My sister got me a bunch of spa stuff and a Lush gift card (and a hello kitty toaster because I love kitty like a loving thing).  What's important about that is that she, a much harder working Ferengi * than me, said that I deserved a chance to relax as I'm hustling so hard, I was flattered and thought yesterday would be a good day to do just that.

So I slept in and then started to prepare for a beauty rite as I have a lot of external and internal issues with feeling good about myself.

Deb's Rite for Beauty and Awesomeness


1.  If you have any beauty oriented god/desses, make an offering to them and if they're amendable to it, bring them into the bathroom to supervise.  I brought in Erzulie and Aphrodite who were happy to supervise while making sure their respective offerings were EXACTLY EQUAL.

2. Gather the following:
* 1/4 cup rose water
* 4 cups milk
* 1/4 cup honey
* 1/4 cup coarse sea or Kosher salt
* 1/8 cup olive oil
* Sage essential oil
* 1 tablespoon of finely crushed dried rose petals
* 2 chamomile teabags in cold water
* A face mask
* Loofah or scrubby gloves
* Moisturizer
* Fresh strawberries
* St. Germain
* Music
* Jasmine incense

3. Start by lighting the jasmine incense and putting on your music.  Then mix the salt and the olive oil together with the sage essential oil.  Step into the shower and concentrate on scrubbing off all the crap you feel about your body and shitty things people have said about your body.  While doing this I had the wistful thought, you used to be the May Queen. And I thought about how much I missed my old self, who was def not as wise or as organized, but who liked her body and liked to play.  I thought about how I would like to reclaim being May Queen and I focused on letting all the stuff that weighed me down and made me feel not good enough going down the drain.

4.  Start drawing a bath.  Add the milk, honey, rose water and dried petals.  Get in the tub.  Eat the strawberries and St. Germain and relax and open yourself up to being beautiful.

5. Put the face mask on and the chamomile teabags on your eyes.  Focus on relaxing and being beautiful.  Wash the mask off.

6. Get out of the tub and moisturize.   Admire how dewy your skin looks in the mirror.

7. If you're into self love, now's a good point to get down with that.

8. Put feather extensions in your hair so you're one step closer to looking like Aria Montgomery.  (Optional) (Mine are purple)


I feel more myself than I have in a long time and more in touch with my body than I have in a long time.  It feels really good to feel connected and to feel love for my body, it was a really powerful ritual for me.

* Mom gets huffy when I say that I come from a family of Ferengi because they are not aesthetically pleasing to her but when I explain that it's not about looks, it's about the drive, the hustle, the cunning, the tenacity and the ability to turn pennies into massive cash she is somewhat appeased.  As I come from a family of Ferengi, I'm definitely the Quark of the family - doing well when compared to our peers,  but by family standards- I'm awful with money (which makes everyone laugh when I say that because again, I'm pretty good with it but compared to my fam not so much)and a unrepentant artist/dreamer type, much like Quark as compared to the rest of his family.  However I will say my mom's side (including my mom and sis) take a great deal of satisfaction in having a rebel/artist/writer in their ranks, so there is that.

[New Year, New You] Glamour and You

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


Okay, so I know I totes promised that I'd start doing moon phases, etc. again but the truth of the matter is that a lot of my correspondence and blog writing is now being done during nap times (I'm a nanny by day) on (kindly lent) borrowed computers so I can't really save images, access my links, etc. (I know I could if I really wanted to but nap time is a finite period, Charmers)

We're drawing to a close on the first part of the Experiment, though there will be an eCourse offered right after this ends.  I just signed my copy editor for it so that it will be more polished than my blogging and it will be done as an automated email.  What that means is that you'll sign up and be able to get each lesson straight to your email box.  I will also have a Google group for people who are continuing with the Experiment to share their work with each other as we have been on the blogosphere.  If you're behind a few weeks, don't worry!  You can start the eCourse any time you want and share your thoughts on the list whenever you wanted.   We'll get into the nuts and bolts of that however once we start the next phase.

This week, I would like you to think about how you're presenting yourself to the world and how that's affecting your own personal goals.  The old cliche about looking your best helps you feel your best does have some merit, especially if you have love or job related goals.  It doesn't mean that you need to fit anyone else's mold of looking your best but your own.  If you don't like wearing makeup, don't.  If you don't like wearing a tie, don't.  This is about being the best personal you you can be and about feeling good in your own skin.

Some suggestions:

* If you would like to wear make up but have never really learned how, going to the MAC counter can be a good place to start (or asking a friend for help!) as 99% of the people (boys too) who work there are non judgemental as it's a safe haven for freaks on a leash who need a day job.

* Do your clothes fit you as well as they could?  If not, consider repairing them yourself if you can or taking them to be tailored.  That's a big celeb secret, they buy clothes that are as big as the biggest part of their bodies and then get the rest tailored.  Getting dress pants or a dress or your winter coat tailored can make a big difference in your wardrobe.

* Is your wardrobe missing something or you're in low supply of something?  Shoes, socks, outer wear, undergarments (if you wear a bra, you should get remeasured for one every six months) and accessories can make a big difference on how polished you look.

* Are you taking care of your skin, hair, teeth and nails?

* Are you drinking enough water, eating food that's kind to your body and getting some exercise in (even if it's housekeeping or a short walk)?

* Write a love letter to your body to tell it how much it rocks

* If you have trouble with self image, consider doing a magical work to make you feel better about yourself


Our physical selves often get neglected in magical workings, give your physical self some love and magic this week!

[New Year New You] My Response to Maps

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


I've been thinking about where I wanted to go for this particular experiment, and Jow was hopeful that we would maybe take a trip to New Hope but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to work on Spare Oom as it's really been more a disaster/storage space since the holidaze.  I had ordered all the craft supplies I would need for the coming season which sounds awesome until you realize it all has to live somewhere which will require a lot of Jenga'ing because you don't live in a chateau, you live in a Parisian sized pied-a-terre (with no first bigger house but whatev I'm American).

Acquiring things for Spare Oom has been fun as it means I can pretend to be fancy and French (my Amazon wish list is now full of French aspirational books.  I think I have a better chance pretending to be French than I do Mormon) and I've been selecting things slowly and carefully with Jow.   A black lace shrug to go over my black chiffon dress that I'll use for rituals only.  Candle holders.  Element jars.  Buying the table and shelves.  

But now the time for acquiring has passed and it's time for the less fun part, organizing everything.  We put up our Sarah Lawless print a bit ago and framing it was challenging but I got it done.  We need an extension cord so chandelier with its soft pink bulb can be the main source of lighting.  We hung up the collage I made of my family pictures in the hall and then proceeded to unpack all of my supplies and parceled them out (14 parcels of roving waiting to become skeins, eight pounds of beeswax waiting to become candles, and so on) and put them away.

We still need to set up our altar and shelving and finish setting things up but we should be ready to do our first ritual within a week or two.  We've also been doing a good job with keeping up with keeping the house neat which is super important since we're both working so much.  It's nice coming home to our hearth.

Feeling warm and cozy in our home as well as keeping up with our magical duties has become v. important to me in my own cosmogram.  Which . . .as today is my birthday it's still startling feeling more Mother than Maiden as I spent a lot more time as Maiden than Mother.

Was I My Best?

So as you all know, I've been struggling to attend a BarreAmped dance class as I bought it through Groupon but after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I've figured out that it's causing me more harm than good.  The times for the classes are difficult for me to make and it's a couple towns over making it more complicated.  Because I've been so focused on trying to get my ass there, I haven't been going to the gym which is all of two minutes from my house and open 24/7.  With the new hours I'm working, I'm worried that this class may cause me more harm than good as I need to be v. careful with my spoons because if I overdo and flare up and need to take off of work, so do the women I work for.

Part of making goals (imo) is also figuring out which goals aren't so possible and recalibrating accordingly.  So the new plan is to (hopefully*) go to the gym on Sat and Monday which will be my gym schedule in general as I feel that's something I can do indefinitely and it's a better spoon balance.  I got some yoga classes and the times are a much better fit for my current schedule and it's a little closer to me.

So there is my full disclosure for the Experiment :)

* It's my first year nannying so it's germ farm a-go-go, whenever one of the kids is sick so am I.  Baby #2 is sick right now and I'm feeling a little blech but I'm hoping to 'Quil it away.

[New Year, New Year] The Year of the Hustle: Let's Make Our Own Luck

This is my personal update in general and in response to the Enchanting prompt.
For my response to Enchanting, I made sure to feed everything that needs to be fed (dessert roses, lodestones, high John, honey jar, mojo bags, etc) which I suck at as I have a the-world-is-my-tank-of-seamonkeys view point.  I did some divination and asked my husbands (Jow and Gordon) what they thought and basically they reinforced what I suspected - my wheel is spinning too fast and there are too many variables to get a good bead on what's going to happen because it's changing too quickly.  But.  When I get overwhelmed, my natural inclination is to drop to the ground limp toddler style like Lilo does in Lilo and Stitch and just ignore everything and freak out.  Which . . .I no longer have the luxury to do.  So if I can keep focused and not give in to these inclinations, I can get a lot of shit done.  I also did another ritual that I will be blogging about tomorrow.

Right now, I am so tired I feel like I'm almost in a trance state.  Gearing up for the Year of the Hustle (you can thank Jow for that) and dipping my toes in is v. different than now being thrown into the deep end head first which is where I am now.   Monday I had a total meltdown as I was convinced of my complete inability to get this shit done on top of working way more hours than I have in my day job in years as well as the added bonus of now needing to wake up at 6:15a two days a week.   At the same time, having less time to fuck around with has made me much more focused.

Things I have been doing for my goals this week:
* Tracking my calories
* Made a dr. appt for Monday for fibro med check
* Cleaned/cleaned the house
* Kept up with everyone's NY NY entries
* Put out a query for an editor for the eCourse (and got three proposals from copyeditors already!)
* Reviewed and updated my credit card bills.  I am now 2/3 paid off which is really good.  My goal is to be completely paid off by the end of this year and to start savings.
* Left a message at the church re: the chapel for our wedding and got my stag/hen party date set.
* Kept up with writing the prompts
* Received all my crafting supplies for stock for the coming year/booked my first show (second will be booked later today)
* I will book my first dance class a little later today

[New Year, New You] Weekly Writing Prompt: Maps (Wait, They Don't Love You Like I Love You)

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


As usual, without even discussing it, my PEH and I are on the same page.

This week's prompt is for you to go some place that is sacred to you and to use the experience to guide you in your work for 2012.  Look for signs and omens everywhere, write down your dream from the night before and if your drunken whore of a Muse (. . .or, you know, your own personal spirits) give you direct input as to where to go and/or how to spend your time there, do what they tell you to do (. . .within reason, don't get stupid on me now, Charmers) and see where it takes you.

The point of this prompt is more about being open to an experience and relaxing your mind and seeing what kind of revelations you come to.  We don't all have access to standing stones, it's about going to a place that's important to you in your own personal cosmogram - it could be a town, a bar, a church, someone's house, a restaurant, whatever.  You know your own map.  And it doesn't matter if your dreams are filled with your boss telling you to buy tomatoes and vodka on the expense account and demanding you mask it so that Accounting doesn't bother zir (. . .not from personal dream experience or anything) or if all you hear on the radio is Sexy and I Know It ninety billion times on repeat and that the only wild life you see is someone's Labrador and Red Mini Coopers suddenly seem important, write it all down.  Don't try to interpret it until you're writing your blog entry.  Let it marinade by your bedside until you write your blog entry.

Go find adventure.

[New Year, New You] Some Enchanted Evening

Back to work, bus slave.

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


So, when we broke down your goals, part of the question was what are you going to do magically to make sure that your goals happened.  This is the week to really focus on that.  If you have a ritual you've been wanting to do to shore things up, do it.  If you need to check in with your spirits on where you're heading, get going.  If you've hit a road block, break out your runes or tarot deck or whatever you use.  If you've been meaning to meditate, go with Gaia.

If you need to cut ties with something or someone in your life, get to it.  If you need to sweeten someone or something (bringing a new relationship into your life, a new job, etc), get to work.  Mojo kind of weak lately?  There's an app for that.

You've been grinding for five weeks, your resolve may be wavering but you don't have time for that.   You've been working too hard to just give up now.  You are a weaver of wonder, a dreamer of magic and in your tiny hands you possess the power to influence the universe in great and small ways.  But if you can't change your own life, how are you supposed to change the universe?  It all starts with your resolve to use  your magic.  It's your edge, your advantage in this world.  Use it.

You can do this.

[New Year New You] My Response to Relax Don't Do It

I'm so smug and rested!

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 



Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


Oh Charmers.  I have had the worst stomach bug since yesterday.  Seriously, give me the flu over this any day of the week.  I can deal with fibro, anemia, anxiety/depression, my uterus turning itself inside out . . .but this?  I seriously wanted to die.

In the interest of full disclosure, since my intestines were in revolt yesterday (and today), I didn't make it to my dance class yet.  But I will when I feel fully human again.

So this particular exercise was hard for me to do because I'm used to being a worker bee.  When someone is like, let me treat you to something nice, my answer is to flail a whole lot.  Jow is similarly challenged in treating himself.

Because I'm always a party, on the day we agreed to do something nice for ourselves, I started getting v. anxious and "tail chew-y" about settling on something to do, likely because every plan I've made in the past two months have resulted in some kind of illness or other clusterfuck.

But Jow and I settled on going to Princeton.  I realized part of why I was reluctant is that a lot of my past centered around there but it was time for me to take the town back.  Jow always gets omg excited about University towns, he can smell the book learnin' happening as soon as we get there.  It was nice having the time driving in the car down country roads to really catch up with each other.

We found a little boutique called Aphrodite with planetary sigils in their sign so we had a nice chat with the owners and then tried to go to a favorite restaurant of mine but the power was out so they gave us a gift card so I'll go back there for a birthday dinner.  We went to another restaurant instead and did a sake flight and had really good dry rubbed ribs, tuna sashimi, crab wontons and soup with a tiny sweet for dessert.  We made a nice simple dinner in for ourselves and then drank some St. Germain and enjoyed spending time together.