The World

 Jason asks about life changing Tarot Card readings in his post.  Mine got lengthy, so I'm posting it here.

It wasn't long after my dad had died that my mom, sister and I went to New Orleans.  I was 20, a baby Pagan and still sort of at that obnoxious age where I wanted proof of everything (even more than now). 

Mom's tolerance of the occult was mellowed by beignets and chicory coffee. I had learned somewhere around that age that she wanted nothing to do with psychics because she had learned how accurate they could be when she and her friends went to see one when she was just a bit older than I am now, he wanted nothing to do with her.  Naturally, that made her curious so she pressed him and all he would say was that things would become sad and difficult soon.  Shortly after my grandmother passed unexpectedly.  Despite this, she pressed a twenty into my hand and told me to go crazy in Jackson Square where all the readers hung out and discreetly took my sister to go watch some street performers. 

A private reading without my nosy little sister present by a reader of my choosing!  I was heady with freedom.  I didn't want to get snookered as my beloved Judge Judy would say so I ruled out anyone reading anything but tarot which I was proficient with at the time though it would be some time before I read professionally.  I also wanted someone older who would likely be more experienced.  I circled slowly and eventually chose a salty haired gentlemen who identified as Wiccan as I did at the time.  He had a kind but professional vibe about him that I liked.

What do people usually ask a tarot reader about?  Boys (and girls) in my experience.  Sometimes a baby.  A job.  Feeling generally lost.  I was in college and working two jobs already so that was set.  No babies, please.  I was fighting before I left with my long time boyfriend at the time.  We didn't have texting and long distance cell phone calls cost money as did time online.  I wanted security and the promise of forever as did half of my contemporaries (the other half smartly knew that wasn't going to be possible for most of us yet and instead wisely spent their time experimenting and sleeping around).  So boys and feeling generally lost it was.

I requested a Celtic cross reading as I was very familiar with that spread (no funny business!) and I suspiciously eyed the cards as the poor guy tried to gently tell me that the relationship would likely not work out.  Actually, worse.  He said the relationship would work as long as I kept making it work (retrospectively, a pattern that would haunt my twenties).  Naturally, this was unacceptable.  I had already selected Boyfriend as my forever home and planned on riding that pony all the way down to the altar and his compliance and willingness as well as pro-activeness (which 20 year old boys are famous for) were necessary in my equation.  I didn't want to get married yet, we needed to finish college.  Maybe live together first.  That could take at least five years!  I already did three!  What about my ROI!

"But the last card!" I cried.  "It's the World!  That's the best card in the deck!  How could I get the best card in the deck when all signs point to eventual breaking up!"

"Because when you do, your world will open up," he said simply.

I paid the man and left unsettled.  Naturally, we did break up.  I was pissed at the time with Boyfriend's Break Up of a Thousand Paper Cuts approach and his mumbled we have nothing in common which was unsatisfactory.  But.  My world did open up.  I saw London, Paris and Rome.  I experimented.  I got to feel free to get as drunk as I wanted and dance on as many tables as I wanted.  I got to figure out who I was as I ran through new partners and new life experiences.  I started clubbing and acquiring corsets.  I built SalonCon and got published.  I got married and divorced.  I became a homeowner.  The world did indeed open up for me.

As for Boyfriend, well, I always say he's my favorite exboyfriend.  He smuggled champagne into my limo at my wedding since I didn't get to drink at all.  He talked me through when I volunteered for Katrina clean up with the Red Cross as he was just coming back from Iraq and never made me feel stupid about it.  He helped me move into the condo I live in now.  He comes to my cocktail parties.  He's a good egg.  The best egg.  But not the egg for me.

But I like you/ although you don't know it/ I like you so much I talk to everyone but you

As I previously mentioned, I'm def open to taking questions (feel free to email me at corvaxgirl [at] gmail [dot] [com]) about your magical quandaries and I am happy to give you my two cents. An anonymous reader expressed that she's often shy around boys and explained some of the things she's doing to work on it mundanely and queried what she should do magically.

First off, oh girl do I relate! If I like someone and I'm caught off guard about it, my response is to answer that person tersely, never look at zir, not instigate conversation and freeze up when s/he touches me in any way. OBVIOUSLY I MUST be interested!

Let's talk mundane tactics and then get to the magic awesome.

1. It's a panic response and it can be hard to train yourself out of it. But certainly not impossible. Think about what makes you do that. For me, if I'm in an unfamiliar setting and I don't know a lot of people and I don't know what the acceptable social convention is and other people all know each other, I flail. I flail because I don't know how to find basic things like food, water and the bathroom and I feel dumb for not knowing. HOWEVER. If you put me in a place where I know some people, generally know how to behave and what to expect, I can turn on the charm like whoa. Try to figure out what factors can help you do better.

2. Try reading The Game. Now, a lot of people get v. huffy puffy about this book and (YMMV of course) honestly? As a feminist I didn't find anything offensive about it - he empathizes how not to freak out women and if you fail, it's your fault not hers so you need to fix your game. Not all of it will apply necessarily and by the end it felt like a lot to juggle (all the hooking and stories and postures) but some of it is really helpful. I'm not great at approaching people unless it's literally my job, a lot of the advice was pretty helpful to me just in terms of that.

3. Try different venues for dating. For me, I tend to meet people a few ways: 1. As a friend of a friend at a party. 2. the intertubes 3. at a convention (where we have common interests) 4. Some combination there of. I've gone on a date where I met someone at a club or bar precisely once. I enjoy going, but it's not where I'm going to make a love connection. Try speed dating, try "it's just lunch", ask a friend to set you up, try a common interest place (renfaire, book club, con, wine club, whatever's your thing), try OKC, try a club and figure out where *you* do best.

Onto the magic-y goodness!

1. Start by writing down some things you would like in a partner while burning a red candle (ideally with some rose oil on it or a rose scented candle). Ask your god/dess/es for their help, maybe make them an offering of some kind of sweet and/or champagne. Sprinkle dried rose petals on the paper, roll it towards you and seal the paper with the red candle wax and put it in your lingerie drawer.

2. Glamour-ize yourself! Whenever you are going somewhere you could potentially meet someone, wear whatever makes you feel like a local goddess. If you don't wear heels, don't! Grimacing won't help you make a good impression. If you feel super hot in a tank top and jeans that make your ass look like *bam!*, wear that! But dress with intent. I find putting make up on to be soothing to this end (and if you don't, disregard), I feel like I'm carefully putting on an Amazon mask of glamourous awesomeness. Body image issues can be difficult for many people (and oh do I know first hand) but I find it imperative to be able to look in the mirror and say (issues and all), Goddamn I look amazing! And if you can't, I recommend a fake it til you make it approach (i.e. keep saying it to yourself every time you pass a mirror til you start to believe it).

3. And then kick it up a notch. Using an eyeshadow brush, concentrate on putting your will for what you want to happen into the symbols/words you inscribe onto yourself using clear hand sanitizer. Seal your sigils using Come to Me oil (I happen to like this particular brand and this particular shop).

All the cool kids are doing it. . .

go ahead, ask me if I care/ I got the answer here/ I wrote it down somewhere/ I just gotta find it. . .