[New Year, New You] Weekly Writing Prompt: Maps (Wait, They Don't Love You Like I Love You)

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


As usual, without even discussing it, my PEH and I are on the same page.

This week's prompt is for you to go some place that is sacred to you and to use the experience to guide you in your work for 2012.  Look for signs and omens everywhere, write down your dream from the night before and if your drunken whore of a Muse (. . .or, you know, your own personal spirits) give you direct input as to where to go and/or how to spend your time there, do what they tell you to do (. . .within reason, don't get stupid on me now, Charmers) and see where it takes you.

The point of this prompt is more about being open to an experience and relaxing your mind and seeing what kind of revelations you come to.  We don't all have access to standing stones, it's about going to a place that's important to you in your own personal cosmogram - it could be a town, a bar, a church, someone's house, a restaurant, whatever.  You know your own map.  And it doesn't matter if your dreams are filled with your boss telling you to buy tomatoes and vodka on the expense account and demanding you mask it so that Accounting doesn't bother zir (. . .not from personal dream experience or anything) or if all you hear on the radio is Sexy and I Know It ninety billion times on repeat and that the only wild life you see is someone's Labrador and Red Mini Coopers suddenly seem important, write it all down.  Don't try to interpret it until you're writing your blog entry.  Let it marinade by your bedside until you write your blog entry.

Go find adventure.

[Recipe Monday] Cassoulet

So.  If you're looking for a reason to cry and feel bitter about your life, read this article and look at the blogs.  I am without irony whining drunkenly right now about how badly I want to be a young hip not-Utah Mormon mom.

But.  While waiting to become perfect, you still need to eat.  So.  Cassoulet.

Cassoulet
4 pieces of bacon, diced large
1 onion, diced
1 carrot, diced
1 parsnip, diced
1 carton baby bella mushrooms
1 can cannelloni beans, rinsed and drained
1 can chick peas, rinsed and drained
Large can of diced tomatoes, undrained
1 chicken bouillon cube
1 cup water
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
bouquet garni (I use a t-sac because I'm lazy and have them on hand) with fresh thyme, rosemary, parsley and a dried bay leaf)
Salt and pepper to taste
Seasoned panko breadcrumbs and grated cheese

Put the bacon in a large pot on medium heat on the stove.   Drain some of the grease of of the pot.  Add onions.  Then add the mushrooms and then the garlic.  When everything is browned, add the white wine and scrape the bottom of the pot.  Add the rest of the ingredients except the breadcrumbs/cheese.  Simmer uncovered on low heat for at least an hour.   Scoop into bowls and top with breadcrumbs and grated cheese.

[New Year, New You] Some Enchanted Evening

Back to work, bus slave.

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 

Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


So, when we broke down your goals, part of the question was what are you going to do magically to make sure that your goals happened.  This is the week to really focus on that.  If you have a ritual you've been wanting to do to shore things up, do it.  If you need to check in with your spirits on where you're heading, get going.  If you've hit a road block, break out your runes or tarot deck or whatever you use.  If you've been meaning to meditate, go with Gaia.

If you need to cut ties with something or someone in your life, get to it.  If you need to sweeten someone or something (bringing a new relationship into your life, a new job, etc), get to work.  Mojo kind of weak lately?  There's an app for that.

You've been grinding for five weeks, your resolve may be wavering but you don't have time for that.   You've been working too hard to just give up now.  You are a weaver of wonder, a dreamer of magic and in your tiny hands you possess the power to influence the universe in great and small ways.  But if you can't change your own life, how are you supposed to change the universe?  It all starts with your resolve to use  your magic.  It's your edge, your advantage in this world.  Use it.

You can do this.

[New Year New You] My Response to Relax Don't Do It

I'm so smug and rested!

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 



Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


Oh Charmers.  I have had the worst stomach bug since yesterday.  Seriously, give me the flu over this any day of the week.  I can deal with fibro, anemia, anxiety/depression, my uterus turning itself inside out . . .but this?  I seriously wanted to die.

In the interest of full disclosure, since my intestines were in revolt yesterday (and today), I didn't make it to my dance class yet.  But I will when I feel fully human again.

So this particular exercise was hard for me to do because I'm used to being a worker bee.  When someone is like, let me treat you to something nice, my answer is to flail a whole lot.  Jow is similarly challenged in treating himself.

Because I'm always a party, on the day we agreed to do something nice for ourselves, I started getting v. anxious and "tail chew-y" about settling on something to do, likely because every plan I've made in the past two months have resulted in some kind of illness or other clusterfuck.

But Jow and I settled on going to Princeton.  I realized part of why I was reluctant is that a lot of my past centered around there but it was time for me to take the town back.  Jow always gets omg excited about University towns, he can smell the book learnin' happening as soon as we get there.  It was nice having the time driving in the car down country roads to really catch up with each other.

We found a little boutique called Aphrodite with planetary sigils in their sign so we had a nice chat with the owners and then tried to go to a favorite restaurant of mine but the power was out so they gave us a gift card so I'll go back there for a birthday dinner.  We went to another restaurant instead and did a sake flight and had really good dry rubbed ribs, tuna sashimi, crab wontons and soup with a tiny sweet for dessert.  We made a nice simple dinner in for ourselves and then drank some St. Germain and enjoyed spending time together.

[New Year New You] My Response to Something I've Been Putting Off

Yeah it looks just like this.  Especially the heels.

The New Year, New You Project is an experiment in Magical Radical Transformation.  Please see here for how to participate! 


Please remember to leave a link here to your blog entry with your response to this prompt or an update on your own Experiment.


Right.  So I could pretend that I'm putting off business related things but that's bullshit because much like Timmy Ferris I enjoy working on business things most of the time so going by that I could claim to have a 4 hour work week too.  Going to work?  Hooray!  Even when the baby of the day won't stop screaming and/or shits so far up her back it almost reaches her neck.  I like working, it makes me feel productive.  Finding craft shows?  Also productive feeling.  Ordering craft supplies?  Super awesome, it's shopping *and* business.  Doing craft shows?  Occasionally annoyed by annoying customers but overall a productive feeling.

(Slightly related to the business thing, if anyone is looking for a dozen new and unused 16 oz jars with lids, I have them listed on my Etsy.  My quest for the right sized jars for a project continues!)

But that is a bold face lie, Charmers.  Inevitably, what I put off gets put into three categories:

1. Body related things

2. Cleaning

3. Writing

Writing has not so much been a problem with the whole Experiment although admittedly I do sometimes feel like I'm shoveling snow while it's still snowing in my quest to read everyone's entries and comment but it's also made me streamline my intertube habits.  But I've been writing all the prompts I'm supposed to be writing and responding to my prompts as well as getting more articles queued up for WitchVox (which generates more email to respond to because I can't get enough of your love, baby).  I've also been following up on some fiction stuff (selecting cover art for a short eBook, lining up readings, etc).

Cleaning inevitably gets done because we live in a small space and it starts to get me irritated if things slide for too long.  I did talk to Jow about strategy for when I start working more hours shortly.  We sorted out how things would be distributed/if we need to consider a cleaning service.  I'm putting it off as we speak right now but I will be watching Hoarders and eating lunch after this which always kicks my ass into gear.

Which brings us to . . .body related things.  A friend of mine had written on Facebook that since losing some weight, family, family and even strangers have felt like they have the right to comment on her body and how uncomfortable that makes her.  I had been feeling that way for several years which has really stopped me from losing weight because it makes me feel like I lose agency over my body.  As a feminist, you can imagine how distressing that is.  (Side note: I think being pregnant would *really* freak me out hardcore because being preggo just makes that issue like a bazillion times worse)  Honestly, just talking to someone else who has the same issue really made me feel better.  Before I talked to her, no one else I know seemed bothered by it which made me feel like an isolated weirdo which made me feel like I would prefer to be a bigger chick who was left the fuck alone.

But I really want to be at a size that makes me feel happier with my body.  I will never be smaller than a size 12 and I'm okay with that.  My bone structure and my boobs will never conform to that.  I'm somewhere between a size 14 and 16 and I would like to be closer to a 12.  Numbers are arbitrary, but I have pictures of myself at a 12/14 and I like the way I look there a lot more.  So that means I would ideally like to lose between 30 and 40 pounds.  It took me a long time to gain that weight, it's going to take a long time to lose it and maintain it.  While, yes, I would prefer a quick fix, I would really rather prefer to maintain a weight rather than treadmill for five hours a day for three months and then just gain it back.  I don't want to be ruled by a "system" and I don't want to be ruled by a scale but I also don't want to be ruled by my eating issues either.  I also want to get to a point where I can go to a party or an event and eat what I want and then go back to eating more sensibly and healthy without it being a whole traumatic event (I tend to either be on the bus or off the bus with this stuff).

I think part of the issue is that without a set diet, I didn't know up until five minutes ago how much weight I can expect to lose which also made it hard for me to feel motivated because otherwise it feels so arbitrary.   Going by the calculator that Fitness magazine has (and continually adjusting my weight as I would theoretically be losing it) with the amount of calories I feel comfortable with (1500ish) and my activity level (light, gym twice a week), it's not impossible for me to be at my goal weight by August.  I also figured out how many calories I should be taking in to maintain that weight (1800ish) with the same activity level.

I've been finding SparkPeople very helpful in tracking my calories and whatnot, more so I can track my patterns and to help me have an idea of when I'm overdoing it.

So, here's the part that's hard for me to share because saying it makes it real.

1. I will be going to my first BarreAmped class tomorrow which I'm terrified about.  I used to love modern dance in college but I was a lot more in shape and lighter then.  I'm worried that this is going to totally trigger my fibro and/or I will be humiliated by not being able to keep up.  I've already ditched out of going once but it's a Groupon so I'm running out of time to fuck around about it.  And now I also don't want to look hypercritical in front of all of you so now I have to.  My palms are sweating right now just thinking about it.

2. When I am out of those classes, I will start my five yoga classes and hopefully be able to do at least one hot yoga class because I really have wanted to try it for years.

3. In between all that, I will be going to the gym another time sometime in the week.  When I run out of classes, twice a week (possibly Saturdays and Mondays seem the easiest to manage and maintain for all fitness).

4. To try to get myself into my own body again, I booked a boudoir shoot to happen over the summer.  I hate having my picture taken, I always look awkward and weird and I'd like to get more comfortable with myself and work my way up to feeling comfortable with doing a boudoir shoot.

So . . . here I am.

WitchVox Article: How May I Service You Today?

My WitchVox article "How May I Service You Today?" is up:

I think service can be a difficult concept to our community because there are obvious services that many of us do not do... helping at a soup kitchen or a domestic violence helpline, volunteering in Haiti, etc. We all feel we should be doing these things but most of us don't. And because we keep holding ourselves to standards we may not ever be able to reach (yeah, ask me how becoming a Girl Scout Leader is going) because of our busy lives, we hamstring ourselves from having the opportunity to give small services. If you do big services like I listed above, you are truly an angel. But many of us get too bogged down in our daily lives and it can be challenging to get involved in a larger more global cause. To that I say two things:

1. Think globally; act locally.

2. What do you care about?


Read the rest here.

[Retro Recipe Not Monday] Baked Alaska

Your husband needs this on a Tuesday night
regardless of your personal sexual orientation.

I was super surprised to find out that there are still modern Betty Drapers crazified enough to attempt this dessert.  I've never had it, have any of you?  Is it at all worth the sheer amount of effort that goes into it?  My guess is no but I could be mistaken.

Baked Alaska (Food Network Recipe)

Ingredients

For the Ice Cream Cake:

• Vegetable oil, for brushing
• 1 pint raspberry, passion fruit or other sorbet, softened
• 1 pint vanilla ice cream, softened
• 1 quart chocolate ice cream, softened
• 1 cup chocolate wafer crumbs (about 17 crushed wafers)
• 1 loaf pound cake

For the Meringue:

• 1 cup egg whites (about 6 large), at room temperature
• Pinch of cream of tartar
• 1 cup sugar

Directions

Make the ice cream cake: Brush a 3-quart metal bowl with vegetable oil; line with plastic wrap. Fill the bowl with scoops of the sorbet, vanilla ice cream and half of the chocolate ice cream, alternating small and large scoops to create a mosaic of colors and shapes. Place a piece of plastic wrap on top of the ice cream; press down to close the gaps between scoops and even out the surface. Remove the plastic wrap, sprinkle the ice cream with the wafer crumbs and re-cover with the plastic wrap, pressing gently. Freeze until set, about 30 minutes.

Remove the wrap and spread the remaining chocolate ice cream in an even layer on top of the crumbs. Cut the pound cake into 1/2-inch-thick slices; completely cover the ice cream with the slices, trimming as needed (you'll use about two-thirds of the cake). Cover with fresh plastic wrap and freeze until firm, at least 2 hours or up to 2 days.

Make the meringue: Whip the egg whites and cream of tartar in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until foamy, about 2 minutes. Gradually beat in the sugar on high speed until the whites are glossy and hold stiff peaks.

Remove the top layer of plastic wrap, then invert the cake onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. (If necessary, let the cake stand overturned until it slips out.) Remove the rest of the plastic wrap and cover the ice cream completely with the meringue, making the dome-shaped top slightly thicker than the sides. Form swirly peaks in the meringue using the back of a spoon. Freeze for at least 3 more hours.

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. Bake the cake until the meringue peaks are golden, about 4 minutes, or brown the meringue with a blowtorch. Let the cake soften at room temperature for 5 to 10 minutes before slicing. Freeze any leftovers.