Glamour Rites

So I've been crying and whinging endlessly to anyone who will listen about being old and fat and no fun.  But at the end of the day, I'm a do'er.  I can't just roll around in the muck endlessly, I need to change things.  I've been trying to change things using boring, non magical means such as Pinterest boards to figure out where I'm going, not eating like my twenty year old self, going to the gym and changing my wardrobe.

But still.  There was inertia.  Then I read my PEH's soon to be seminal work, Sigils Reboot.  And I started thinking.  And planning.  I thought I would have done this rite like two weeks ago but shit kept happening.  So instead I spent my Good Friday (which I happened to have off and was both a Friday and a Full Moon) avoiding my family and practicing witchcraft.  Like you do.

You can't do a Glamour Rite without Beauty
Regime.  Pictured: Lucky 13 Soap (Lush),
Sephora Full Effect Mascara, Benefit Lipstick in
Miss Behavin', Coconut Milk Frangipani Face Mask,
Clinique Moisture Surge Moisturizer, Kabuki Brush
and Evian Mister


  

Ritual Attire

Ritual Altar: St. Germain, Fruit Tart, Mixed Dried Flowers,
My Ladies, Rose Absolute Essential Oil, Twilight Alchemy Labe
Milk and Honey, Stang and Cauldron propolis resin, Beeswax Candle
made by myself in French Hussy, vintage salt cellar with black salt

Post Ritual

Cherry Blossom Tree 

Daffodils

Primped from my nose to my toes

It was mandated by my Ladies that I go out post-rite to celebrate.

Grey Goose Pear Martinis for Everyone!

[Retro Recipe Monday] Crepes Suzette

Crepes Suzette

Ingredients

• 13 1/2 ounces all-purpose flour
• 1 large pinch salt
• 1 3/4 cups milk, plus 1 3/4 cups
• 4 eggs
• 10 ounces unsalted butter, melted
• Orange butter, recipe follows
• Zest, recipe follows

Directions

In a big bowl, mix the flour, salt, and 1 3/4 cups milk, in that order. Whisk vigorously by hand until it is the consistency of heavy cream. Break eggs and fold them in with a whisk. Add the remaining 1 3/4 cups of the milk to the melted butter and pour into the mixture. Continue mixing the batter until it becomes shiny and smooth. Finally sieve the batter to get rid of any lumps. Leave to rest for 2 to 3 hours.

Dip a piece of kitchen paper in vegetable oil and grease a small frying pan. Ladle a spoonful of batter into the pan. With a flick of the wrist swivel the pan in order to get a nice even covering all over. A good crepe should be paper- thin. Cook on a high heat and flip it over when you see the edge turning golden brown. Remove crepes from pan and keep aside in a warm place.
Orange Butter:

• 18 ounces unsalted butter
• 12 ounces caster sugar
• 12 oranges, juiced
• 1 lemon, juiced
• 1 big splash Grand Marnier

Melt the butter in a big saucepan on a high heat. Add the sugar and cook for about 10 minutes until it caramelizes. It should be a golden color.

Combine the lemon with the orange juice and pour it in when the caramel is bubbling. Be careful not to burn the butter or yourself. Add Grand Marnier and continue whisking as the mixture curdles a little and let it cook for 10 minutes to reduce. Finally mix with an electric hand-mixer to ensure that the butter is fully integrated.
Fold the crepes in 4 and put them into a deep frying pan. Spoon in enough orange butter to barely cover them and, on a high heat, reduce the liquid, turning the crepes over to make sure that they absorb the orange butter.
To serve, place the crepes on a dessert plate. Spoon the orange butter over them and garnish with a sprinkling of the zest.
Zest:

• 3 oranges

4 teaspoons syrup (made by boiling 1 cup sugar and 3/4 cup water in a small saucepan)

Peel the zest from the oranges and cut it very thinly. Blanch in boiling water 3 times and drain it to remove the bitterness. Put the zests in a saucepan with the syrup. Simmer over low heat for 20 minutes

Everyone Wants to Be Famous, No One Wants to Do the Work.

So, I'm working on building my empire.  On crap days (which are currently more than the "good" days) I finish that sentiment a la Ani Difranco, "out of car tires and chicken wire/I'm queen of my own compost heap/ I'm getting used to the smell".  As we discussed ad nauseum, accepting this year is going to suck is one thing, living it is another.

I'm depressed.  There.  I said it.  It feels better every time I say it.  My mom says it's because I have too much going on and I think she's right.   But I also feel if I were doing this "right", I'd feel awesome and this depression is a failing on my part in some way.  Because . . .that's the kind of positive self talk I excel at frankly. 

So we've established that when trying to build an empire from scratch, depression is inevitable.  For me it's because none of my coworkers can talk yet and crafting (besides the selling) and writing aren't really known as team activities.  All your "usual" self care is probably super sucktastic right now.  You feel like you're accomplishing nothing besides possibly becoming agoraphobic.  If your mate is trying to build his/her/zir own empire too, congrats!  You can add irritating the shit out of each other too to the list.  And with Mercury in retrograde among other treats, everyone you know is likely acting like a self absorbed psycho like yourself even if they're not magical. 

What to do?

1. Subscribe to Marie Claire if you are female identified.   It's awesome.  It's the first mag in forever (since Sassy 1.0) to have interesting fashion, cheap buys, talk about relationships (including queer id'ed) in a realistic manner as well as serious women's issues and women kicking ass and taking names.  I felt really revitalized after reading it, like I could take over the world again.  At the very least like I could buy a few freaking velcro hair curlers ($4) and see what happens.  I would have never known this if Jow hadn't bought it for me on a whim.

2. Start an evening beauty regime (all genders, we all have skin and teeth).  First off, it calms your ass down.  I don't know why but it does.  Evening beauty regime should include: washing your face (I use CVS brand cucumber wipes because I'm lazy), moisturizing your face (I use moisture surge by Clinique) and eye cream (I use Murad eye cream because I have a sample of it), brushing your teeth and moisturizing your hands and feet.  It takes five minutes and I may have discovered this regime at 2a pawing through my makeup bag of samples while completely intoxicated and reading a French aspirational book but whatev.  It's worth it for the smug feeling of accomplishment alone.

3. Patronize local business.  Stay with me. You probably need goods for your empire.  I know I do. And I could buy some online or even at the grocery store, but that's not keeping my local Pagan brick and mortar in business. And if I want them to stay in business, I need to do the work.  So I buy shit from them. Not everything, but some things.  Yet another coffee house just closed by me taking the tally down from three semi-locally to two.  When I go to shop at Trader Joe's, I also get something at the local coffee shop because I like them and want them to stay in business.  Part of building your empire is keeping other tiny empires that you appreciate afloat too imo. 

4. Japa. It calms your brain down like whoa before bed and Shiva seems especially inclined to grant petty favors (pleeeeeeeeeeeease help me have a good attitude tomorrow, please help the baby take a long nap, etc).  All you need is a set of prayer beads with 108 beads and the correct pronunciation of "Om Namah Shivaya". 

5. Diversify.  I'm sort of working on two empires with some overlap at once.  My crafting business and my Pagan business.  With my crafting business, I'm keeping up an Etsy presence and also making sure I'm trying different kinds of craft friendly events to see where I'm making the most money.  My portfolio for the summer will include shows that are fiber arts only, farmer's markets, standard craft shows and indie craft shows.  This will help me see where I'm successful and will also help me figure out where my wares don't sell so I can map out my "bunny trail" for next season even better.  Next year will be year three so that's the real "make it or break it" year.  This year I'm focusing on buying my materials in bulk.  Next year I'll focus on buying machinery and more equipment to make my process faster and easier.  With my Pagan focused business, I'm focused on keeping up my blog presence as well as my presence on WitchVox and Witches & Pagans. I'm working on running my first class and making tangible goods as well.  I'm going to set up a pre-release book sale date so I am forced to sit down and write it.

6. Glad Game.  I started doing "the glad game" a la Pollyanna with my circle of friends when we were 21.  Picking out three things a day you're happy about keeps you from falling into a giant depression instead of a minor one.  I do it on my Twitter with the hashtag #gladgame.

7.  Accept Failure.  I have not been going to the gym as much as I want.  I'm keeping track of my calories though.  Sometimes you can't win at everything so figure out what you can win at.

Bon chance, darlings.  You're gonna need it.

For My Next Trick . . .

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[Retro Recipe Monday] Vichysoisse

I'm going to do some classics for a bit that you may conceivably eat so you can be psyched for Mad Men's premiere.  All Classic Retro Recipe Monday Recipes come from The Food Network unless otherwise stated.

Vichysoisse

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons butter
• 3 cups leeks, sliced and washed
• 4 cups potatoes, peeled and diced
• Salt and pepper
• 8 cups water
• 2 cup heavy cream

Directions

In large pot melt butter. Add leeks and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Add potatoes and season with salt and pepper. Add water and bring to a simmer. Cook until vegetables are tender. Place 3/4 of soup into a blender and puree, return to pot and stir in cream. Serve hot or cold

Abbey Night: Servant Edition

I suppose we can snottily claim more "accurate" street cred for our Abbey Night because it wound up to be closer to our actual Downton Abbey station (i.e. servant class) verses our imagined ideal (i.e. the bitchy sisters and family).

I thought Abbey night would have, like, red wine and reading my French aspirational book.  Maybe beauty regime or occult hijinx.  We'd eat dinner slowly and have sparkling conversation.

Instead, as my first craft show is this coming Sat, we got to have a little time in the morning to (futilely) try to get tickets for the Sleep No More Remix (it sold out in under five fucking minutes.  Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh) and a little time to check emails in the morning.  I felt upbeat for the first time in weeks and even a bit optimistic about the day.

Then I needed to package everything I sold.

Then I needed to press all the oils I made.  Then some decanting and labeling.

Then it was 3p.  I needed to get dressed.

Then we went to the church (errand running for the Queen Mum).

Then onto the post office (. . . like a motherfucking adult).

A short break with a lunch at Fresh and coffee at Starbucks where Jow was downtrodden and disspirited by his lot as a servant.  I was feeling pretty depressed about life as well because (a) everyone else around me is currently beaten down by life so it's hard to be all yay life with that (b) all my days off have been eaten with completely unfun errands and crafting and (c) I'm feeling like I'm losing sight of my Experiment and feel like I am destined to be fat forever and a nanny and will never have money ever again.  I was thinking about the lines that the one maid said in Downton Abbey, None of it. I'm not going to be a secretary. I'm not going to leave service. I doubt I'll leave here before I'm sixty.  Oh, you saw their faces. And they're right. Oh, look at me! I'm the daughter of a farmhand, I'm lucky to be a maid. I was born with nothing and I'll die with nothing.
No plotting against each other or the ruling family (i.e. the cats) was done, too tired to do so.

Came home, cleaned the entire house.

Made candles, finished making soap.  Can't even take la-dee-da Mormon Mom pics because it looks like a hot mess when I'm working. 

Fed the complaining ruling family who was unappreciative.

Took my bedtime pills.  Got to eat dinner around 9p.

By that time we wanted our servants' privledge of making our own fun so it was intertubes forever for about an hour until bed.  Got to get up at 6a to take care of babies.

Next Abbey night we will be part of the imagined ruling class, damnit.

Reformed Abbeyists

Cat and I grew up as bloggists starting on Diaryland.  I had no idea what she wanted with me to be frank.  She wrote things that were beautiful and amazing (even just on Diaryland!  She hadn't even written any books yet!) and she was living abroad in Japan which sounded incredibly romantic and unfathomable at the time.  I, on the other hand, was a secretary living in Jersey who used her Diaryland to complain excessively about her mother.  But through the years, we've managed to somehow be present for key parts of each other's lives and I learned she cussed a lot too and liked cookies and macros so clearly, we were meant to be friends. 

Now we're both working on unfucking our lives through our own methodology and struggling (sometimes hilariously because sometimes the only way to get through it is to tell it as a story and make it funny).  But Cat had a great idea about starting Abbey Nights in her house.  When reading about it, my brain was so fried it was crunching so I thought, what a great idea!  Jow and I should do that once a month!  And I promptly marked it on the calendar to happen weeks from when I thought about it so presumably my life will have neatly fallen into place in a wonder of perfection and I'd be emotionally and intellectually ready to handle this. 

That week is this Sunday.

Weirdly, my life hasn't settled into perfection somehow.  I thought maybe I could just, like, not mention it and Jow would forget about it and we could settle comfortably in internet forever. 

Jow: So that Abbey thing is this Sunday right?

Me:  (damnit)  Ummmm.  Yeah.  I guess.

Jow: So how will this work?

Me: Candles aren't really too practical for us.  We don't have enough and I don't want either of us to go blind.

Jow: Agreed.  Besides Downton Abbey had electricity and they're an abbey--

Me: Right.  We haven't even started and already we're watering this down.

Jow: We're not watering it down.  We're just not Orthodox.  We're Reformed Abbeyists, that's all.

Me: Hee!  It's so weird because I'm like crap, what am I going to do?  No music, no telly, no internet.  Nothing.  Since I can't do anything fun I guess I could magically cleanse the house.  Or do a puja.  Or connect with my gods individually.  Clip the cats' nails.  Read my new book.  Spin on my wheel--

Jow: Yeah just all of that stuff that's imperative but never gets done.

Me:  Yeah.  That.

I'll report how it goes!