Thursday, August 18, 2011

Scene From a Pagan Household

Jow (said slowly so as to not cause sudden movements from Deb): I kind of want the new Picatrix.

Deb (crossly): No. You don't play with the Pictatrix you have now.

(Jow looks sad) (Deb glares anyway because there are nine MILLION magic books in their house threatening to overtake their rabbit burrow/condo at any minute)

Deb (tries to be reasonable): Why do you need the new Picatrix when you don't play with your old Picatrix?

Jow: The new one is going to be way better because - (blahblahblah, something)

Deb: Does it come in eBook format?

Jow (crestfallen): Not yet. But it might I guess . . .But the book is only $65.

Deb (who has grown accustomed to ridiculously priced books desired by Jow knows that this is not bad especially compared to the first one): Fine. If you sell your old Picatrix.

Jow: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Deb: Fine. I don't really care what you sell but books have to go. I mean it. You manage to manifest stacks of free books in the mail like a junkie and it's getting out of control. Space in this house is finite. Get a storage space if you're that attached but some have got to go before you get a new Pictatrix. And not, like, 'I'll sell them some day and they've lived in a rubbermaid for two years!' But gone gone.

Jow: Deal!

The end times are coming. He's actually sorting. If they all actually leave the house then you know to get into your bunkers.


Rufus Opus said...


My wife has similar organizational mandates in place keeping me from contracting obscure diseases from spores that grow only in old book spines. She's also taken to making me clean up after my projects in the garage lately.

End times indeed.

Unknown said...

Awwww, Deb, let the man have his books!;-) My wife and I fight about this all the time, haha. She wants space to put lovely useless things like bathroom shelving or decorative pots, and I want the space to store valuable and rare knowledge....and I still lose that argument sometimes. I tell her she knew what she signed up for, marrying an alchemist...and she tells me "You knew what you signed up for, marrying a woman." Ahh, marriage.

She's tolerant of my many foibles, so I can't get to upset at her insisting I not clutter the entire house up with books, I suppose.

Deborah Castellano said...

Now boys. I'm an occultist too and if left to my own devices I'd have a *room* full of herbs and other components but we live in a small place. I said if be wanted to keep them he could get a storage space but we got him a nook so we wouldn't die in a book-alanche. So that means if it's an ebook it should be on his nook and if it's not an ebook it can then be purchased. Share share and all that's fair! ;)

Unknown said...

Fair enough, sister.=) Sounds like you're being more than fair. My wife's a witch, but somehow manages to keep all her witchery in a 3x3ft, not so much.

Alexis Kennedy said...

Lololol.. I LOVED this post!! Preparing my bunker now.. can I have some books for reading? This could be awhile (ducking) Hugs and blessings, Deb!

Post a Comment