Reformed Abbeyists

Cat and I grew up as bloggists starting on Diaryland.  I had no idea what she wanted with me to be frank.  She wrote things that were beautiful and amazing (even just on Diaryland!  She hadn't even written any books yet!) and she was living abroad in Japan which sounded incredibly romantic and unfathomable at the time.  I, on the other hand, was a secretary living in Jersey who used her Diaryland to complain excessively about her mother.  But through the years, we've managed to somehow be present for key parts of each other's lives and I learned she cussed a lot too and liked cookies and macros so clearly, we were meant to be friends. 

Now we're both working on unfucking our lives through our own methodology and struggling (sometimes hilariously because sometimes the only way to get through it is to tell it as a story and make it funny).  But Cat had a great idea about starting Abbey Nights in her house.  When reading about it, my brain was so fried it was crunching so I thought, what a great idea!  Jow and I should do that once a month!  And I promptly marked it on the calendar to happen weeks from when I thought about it so presumably my life will have neatly fallen into place in a wonder of perfection and I'd be emotionally and intellectually ready to handle this. 

That week is this Sunday.

Weirdly, my life hasn't settled into perfection somehow.  I thought maybe I could just, like, not mention it and Jow would forget about it and we could settle comfortably in internet forever. 

Jow: So that Abbey thing is this Sunday right?

Me:  (damnit)  Ummmm.  Yeah.  I guess.

Jow: So how will this work?

Me: Candles aren't really too practical for us.  We don't have enough and I don't want either of us to go blind.

Jow: Agreed.  Besides Downton Abbey had electricity and they're an abbey--

Me: Right.  We haven't even started and already we're watering this down.

Jow: We're not watering it down.  We're just not Orthodox.  We're Reformed Abbeyists, that's all.

Me: Hee!  It's so weird because I'm like crap, what am I going to do?  No music, no telly, no internet.  Nothing.  Since I can't do anything fun I guess I could magically cleanse the house.  Or do a puja.  Or connect with my gods individually.  Clip the cats' nails.  Read my new book.  Spin on my wheel--

Jow: Yeah just all of that stuff that's imperative but never gets done.

Me:  Yeah.  That.

I'll report how it goes!

Limited Edition Oils for Sale at My Etsy Shop

Man in Black (5 left) - $15

This oil has a complex aroma with rich sexy notes of teak, cedar, green tea, saffron and cardamom with a hint of blood orange. Each scent component was carefully chosen to bring prosperity, confidence and an air of attractiveness to the wearer.

Goddess of the Hearth (7 left) - $25

This oil has a delightfully herbaceous aroma with gorgeous floral and tea undertones. Each scent component was carefully chosen to bring prosperity, love, happiness and protection to you and your hearth. Expect notes of lavender, thyme, rose and parsley among others.

Man in Black Limited Edition Oil

 Firstly, let me apologize for being a lying lying liar.  When making oils in small batches, it's still more of an art than a science for me.  I tried math this time to make more of it but . . .if math was my strong suit I doubt I'd be a artisan.  There will only be seven five of these oils available.  Once they're gone, they're gone.  

I have consecrated this oil using traditional Hoodoo methods.  Once the oil was decanted into labeled 5 ML amber glass bottles, they have been put in my altar to "marinade".

You can use the oil for anointing candles, mojo hands, ritual use or simply as a fragrance oil.

First off, I was a little nervous about making an oil for those who are more masculine identified because I'm ridiculously girly most of the time.  But I have to be honest.  I'm wearing it right now (myself and Jow are the only animals we test on) and I'm having a hard time not licking myself.  It's awesome (and masculine) honestly.  I'm looking forward to giving the little bit I had left over to Jow for science to see how it works for him and um science because it works for me.

This oil has a complex aroma with rich sexy notes of teak, cedar, green tea, saffron and cardamom with a hint of blood orange.  Each scent component was carefully chosen to bring prosperity, confidence and an air of attractiveness to the wearer.

Monday morning I will be putting these oils up for sale through my Etsy shop with pictures of the bottles.  Each oil will cost $15 USD.

If you would like to pre-order your oil, you may do so!

Shipping costs will be:

$3 USD - US
$5 USD - Canada
$7 USD - Europe

For pre-ordering, go to Paypal and send payment and shipping to corvaxgirl@gmail.com with the subject line "Man in Black".

Goddess of the Hearth Limited Edition Oil

 Firstly, let me apologize for being a lying lying liar.  When making oils in small batches, it's still more of an art than a science for me.  There will only be seven of these oils available.  Once they're gone, they're gone.  

I made these oils on the full moon which will add fullness to your hearth.  I have consecrated this oil using traditional Hoodoo methods.  Once the oil was decanted into labeled 5 ML amber glass bottles, they have been put in my hearth with a small candle lit from my stove to "marinade".

You can use the oil for anointing candles, mojo hands, ritual use or simply as a perfume oil.

This oil has a delightfully herbaceous aroma with gorgeous floral and tea undertones.  Each scent component was carefully chosen to bring prosperity, love, happiness and protection to you and your hearth.   Expect notes of lavender, thyme, rose and parsley among others.

Monday morning I will be putting these oils up for sale through my Etsy shop with pictures of the bottles.  Because of the cost of the components and time in preparing the oil, I will need to make these oils more expensive than I had originally planned.  Each oil will cost $25 USD.

If you would like to pre-order your oil, you may do so! 

Shipping costs will be:

$3 USD - US
$5 USD - Canada
$7 USD - Europe

For pre-ordering, go to Paypal and send payment and shipping to corvaxgirl@gmail.com with the subject line "Goddess of the Hearth".

Emotional Cutting, the French and Your Magical Practice

Because I'm an emotional cutter, nothing says trying to unwind from a hectic schedule of nannying and a terrible fibro flareup like reading books about French women and why everything they do is awesome including, probably, pooping. 

And of course the French seem to be unbearably smug about everything from how easy it is for them to parent to not needing close friends to never getting fat to all their food to always being fashionable and having sex all the time and work life balance?  What is that?  We don't even need to worry about that.

So as always, upon completing a French aspirational book I'm torn between equal parts frothing jealous hatred and desperate desire to be like a French woman.

I was talking to Gordon about how there doesn't seem to be much in the way of magical practice on how not to be heavier than you would prefer.  We both have theories about this, mine is a lot of blahblahblah the gods from Pagan cultures don't really understand the concept of having too much food and not enough exercise so when you're like, PLEASE YEMAYA, I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE, HALP HALP.  She's like . . .explain?  And I'm like, NO MORE FAT!  NOT HAPPY!  And She's like, you're unhappy because of your incredible access to any food whenever you want and your ginormous boobs and hips and ass that means that you'd be a good mate and mother?  And I'm like. . . .yes.  And she's like, girl I don't even know where to start with that.

So I've been thinking a lot about the French, living well, magic, appearance, glamour and charm/Charm. 

Naturally, the French look down their nose at what I'm doing right now (working like a psycho).  Jason wrote about how sometimes you just need to accept things are going to suck in order to get the things you want.  And I agree with that as well and it's been what I've been doing so far this year.  But I'm not good at accepting a never ending suck without end for a year.  It makes me depressed and aggreviated and irritated. 

So last night I called a meeting with all my personal pantheon and just made a tearful plea to help me figure out how to not be fat, how to be happy and how to still accomplish my goals. I woke up this morning ready to take on the world a little better.

What I'm Doing (and You Can Too):
1. Glamour correctly.   My previous glamours weren't working right because as one of my mentors told me, I'm fishing in the wrong pond.  I don't want someone in particular attracted to me, I'm not looking to get down really and I don't want anyone getting all "I must have you" and I must have mace or a restraining order.  I'm looking more for light flirtation and people  to think I'm charming and attractive.  To this end, I'm making a mojo hand for this working (and I'll make them available if I like the way mine works) and I'm getting a new TAL oil.  I'm going to contemplate new sigils as well.

2. Do you feel good about how you look on a random Tuesday?  First off, I needed to get a good hair cut, so I did that.  But I don't have time to flat iron at 6a for only a baby to see it.  But I could get really cute hair ties to jazz up my ponytail and use a few bobby pins.  I needed to figure out how to look cute while still being vomited and shat on.  I got inspired from a few place to figure out what I should be wearing and created a Pintrest board to really pull my week day look together as well as figure out some pj wear and going out clothes.   It really helped to focus me for what I was going for.  I also developed a quick make up routine as well.

3. You Are Not Alone  Besides Charmers working on their Experiments, people are working on unfucking their lives mundanely on Tumblr.  I am especially fond of Cat Valente's Girl Unlocked because she's a writer too and has similar issues to me. Also she's super funny and has a great makeup routine.

4. You Don't Have to Like It, You Just Have to Do It.  This motto has helped me start to get my ass to the gym three times last week.  It really helped me shut my brain weasels off by going straight to the gym as soon as I got up.  For me it also helped to hear that it was okay to have more pain than usual with the fibro, it was better to do it. (My current flare started on Wed due to weather changes verses gym changes.  30 degree change in a day knocks me flat on my ass every time)

5. Small Changes.  Okay so the French would probably not be into us eating the same thing practically every night as we've been doing.  So I just looked up some crockpot recipes to jazz things up on my Tues/Thurs which is my longest night.  We just got a cleaning service because with both of us working 40+ hours a week, it was becoming ridic.  A cleaning service will also keep us on top of things they don't do - decluttering, laundry, etc.  I'm tired of our tea kettles always getting gross.  I just ordered an electric kettle (and some fancy tea and okay, another French aspirational book because again, emotional cutter).  

6. Petition the right gods and spirits.  I'm working on a project that might bring me closer to the right spirit/Egregor but it's still in its baby stages.  In the interim, consider Durga.  Durga may not be overly invested in your weight loss per se, but She can relate to a person wanting to be as pretty, charming and smart as She is.  Puja and mala work works for this.

7. How Important Is This to You?  Really.  I keep crying and whining about being fat, not tending to my inner garden (the French are apparently big on this), not feeling sexy, etc., etc.  But what am I doing?  To the French, it's apparently more important to look good than to eat that donut.  So I'm going to change my eating habits and try to think more about what I'm eating and why.  Daytime eating tends to be boring anyway so I have a new plan for that.  I'm also going to cut down on snacks.  I am a huge snacker.  The French don't do that.  So . . .we'll see.

Why Do We Do This?

Well Jason, as usual we're secretly in sync with each other!  In your lastest entry on Magic and Mind and Psychology you discuss the need to not just be magically delicious but to have your shit together too.  I just sent an entry to my editor for Week 13 of the New Year, New You: An Experiment in Radical, Magical Transformation on this topic as well.  I also discussed that it's okay to have mostly mundane goals there too.  Spooooooooooooooooooky.

But it also made me contemplate why do I do magic and how do I feel about psychology and magic?  Because, as Jason said, there are easier ways to get power, prestige, money, love, etc.

Hmmm. 

From a spellwork perspective, if you are more into "low" magic over "high" magic, you may not truck much with spirits.  You may ask God/dess/es or totems or ancestors for help but you may not get into the world of angels and demons and other various spirits.  You may just say, God.  (Scandalous!)  You may . . .and this is where things get touchy . . .not have any significant meditational practice at all.  (le gasp!) You may only be minorly concerned with enlightenment or magical powers and personal growth may be something you look at from a mundane perspective primarily.

I just described myself, honestly.  But not just me, lots of kitchen witches, hearth witches and hoodoo practitioners as well.  Possibly Wiccans (almost none of my sisters have a real steady meditation/power gathering format that they use outside of circle to the best of my knowledge) and ADF Druids (. . .we're totes supposed to meditate but I have a rudimentary practice at best and I still have my card but no actual dedicants' book despite the fact that I did cycle two of the dedicants program *and* contributed data to the program but oooooh Jow joins and you just send him a book no questions asked.  I'm looking at you, Kirk.  Ahem.  Anyway it stands to reason that there are many other ADF members who attend their groves faithfully as I do and suck at meditating.  Especially since ADF is primarily celebratory, at least in my grove). 

I find if you're not trying to get super into the spirit world, your spells fall under the following categories:  love, money, protection, hexing and health.  Ta-da!  Not everyone is really fantastic at communicating with the spirit world and that's okay too.  It is one aspect of a strong magical practice, but it's not the only one.  Faith can take you a long way along with offerings (especially when you don't have your hand out).  Maybe you have a steady magical practice to get ahead and keep things running smoothly and that's all you need.  Frankly, it's all I need.  And if I never get enlightened or get infinite cosmic powers, I'm really okay with that as well.  It's not really part of my bracket of goals.  I don't need a never ending amount of people attracted to me, I don't need to be rich, I don't need a lot of things.  I've learned from my divorce, mo' money mo' problems.

I do magic to (consensually) keep my relationship good, to keep bringing in money with a day job, that I can handle minor problems like a car problem, to keep things smooth in my family, to help me keep making money as a writer and a crafter, to protect my home and occasionally when I'm irritated enough, to smack someone's ass down.  And . . .that's it. That's all I need. 

Because my magic tends to be more faith based, how it works is less important to me than having it work.  Maybe it's somewhat psychologically based, maybe it's not.  Listen, I get why it's important.  I have fibromyalgia.  The way we're treated varies a lot based on whether that person thinks it's "all in your head" (psychological) or it's actual neurological damage (hard science!).  But at the end of the day, no one knows for sure yet if fibro is psychological or science based or both and no one knows about magic.  But . . .I still have fibro and magic still works.  If you ever want to be validated because someone is scoffing at you, offer v. sincerely to do work on their behalf.  Because I've found that backs that train up real fast.  Everyone in my life who has scoffed has also refused to let me do magic on their behalf.  Obviously, some part of them believes that I have the power to change their lives in some way.  Last I checked, that's what magic is.

[Glamour Guest Post] n Glamours: Burlesque and Witchcraft (Mama Fortune)

Want to be part of the glamour discussion?  Once a week, I have a guest post spot for people from all magic-y/gender-y/sexual orientation/personal glamour orientation walks of life to talk about what glamour means to you both mundanely and magically. Any spellwork or personal revelations are welcome! Essays should be between 500-1000 words and be sure to include a brief bio about yourself and any links (blog, Etsy shop, etc) that you would like included.

Send it to me in the body of your email with the subject "Glamour" to corvaxgirl [at] gmail [dottie] com

About Mama Fortune: I am an artist and burlesque performer in Vancouver, British Columbia. I've been practising witchcraft for fifteen years, with a focus on the practical side of things. Recently, I've begun teaching tarot and magic.
My blog is http://mama-fortuna.blogspot.com/


Twin Glamours: Burlesque and Witchcraft  Or: What glitter can do for you.

When I was in my early twenties, I had a brief affair with a Satanist. He looked remarkably like Marc Bolan, wore a leather jacket no matter the weather, and loved Conan the Barbarian. One night, over drinks in the world's ugliest faux Irish pub, he lent me a copy of Anton Szandor LaVey's The Satanic Witch.  I'm sure I was supposed to be very scandalised and maybe a bit titillated. I read the book from cover to cover, and when I was later asked for my opinion I declared, with one eyebrow arched, “That book is about my MOTHER.”

I still have the book. It's dated, and nobody could claim it's a great work of literature, but I hang onto it because it continues to hold relevance in my life despite my disagreements with it. I will return to this fact later. But first, my mom, the accidental Satanic Witch.

Growing up, my mother always stressed the importance of 'looking nice.' This is not to say she was one of those women you see on Toddlers and Tiaras forcing her kids into makeup – she was nothing of the sort. I was a teenager in the 1990s, when grunge was king, and my mother never once questioned my fashion choices, even when they veered into the unusual; black lipstick and combat boots were my uniform throughout much of highschool, and my mother simply encouraged me no matter what my style to try and look my best in my own way. To look put together, even if that included vinyl pants. My mother knew looks mattered.

Human beings are visual creatures. We judge one another by our appearance long before we utter a word. Most would agree that this is a pretty simple fact. (Whether or not it's fair is not relevant.) Another basic truth is that physical appearance, to a large degree, is easy to manipulate, So easy, in fact, that I am constantly surprised by how many witches and magicians overlook the opportunity to do so.

During the aforementioned black lipstick phase, a friend and I once conducted an experiment for a class. We stopped strangers in the park and asked them a series of bullshit questions on camera, supposedly for a class assignment. In reality we didn't care about their answers – we cared about their reaction to the interviewer, caught handily on film. My friend was clean-cut, with brown hair and a button-down blouse. If memory serves, my hair was violent red and black at the time, and my makeup was straight out of Siouxsie Sioux's liner notes. I also wore an inverted cross necklace just to make things even more entertaining.

Not surprisingly, our hypothesis was proved correct: we got very different reactions. That silly little experiment hammered home at an early age the fact that people will assume all manner of things based on how you present yourself.

I'm thirty-years old, now, and I am a burlesque performer. Burlesque is a world inhabited by people (mostly women) of all shapes, sizes, and styles. The one thing every last professional of the art has in common, however, is the understanding that looks can be manipulated... and used to manipulate. Burlesquers are natural witches in the way old Anton would have understood.

In The Satanic Witch, LaVey discusses 'the Law of the Forbidden,' “Nothing,” he states, “is so fascinating as that which is not meant to be seen.” He has an entire chapter devoted to the correct way in which a lady should 'accidentally' expose herself! Now, while his suggestions are for everyday life, reading them I am struck by how similar they are to the art of the tease. Burlesque performers are strippers, yes, but strippers who seem to intuitively grasp the ideas LaVey talks about – simply taking off your clothes is not enough. He also discusses at length a witch's mode of dress. He suggests the aspiring witch look to the cartoons in men's magazines, as these are exaggerations of a style designed to elicit a particular response. Striptease is really no different – the corsets, false eyelashes, garters, and spike heels are all part of the act.

And that's really it. It's an act. My friend Diamond Minx, when seen at an event, is a vision in rhinestones from head to toe. You would think the woman lived in a state of constant luxury, all glitter and champagne. But here's a secret... I've seen her in sweatpants. It's a glamour. A glamourous glamour, to be sure, but as changeable as all the rest.

Glamour is not just for the stage. There is just as much a need for it in the office, at the PTA, or on your online dating profile. Your appearance is a statement, and may vary depending on circumstance: a corset in a fetish club is not shocking, but the same outfit in church is. This has nothing to do with calling out certain looks, either. This is about deliberate intent, not personal taste. Glamour is powerful everyday magic, and in my experience the witch who overlooks it is doing so out of sheer stubbornness and ego. It's as though nobody wants to believe that others could possibly judge them on their appearance, because we're special, and above such trivial things.

Uh-huh.

You can charge a piece of jewellery with the intent to draw love, but your chances are going to be better if you bother to comb your hair, brush your teeth, and tailor your clothes.

2012 is a big year for many of us. And so I encourage all and sundry to not neglect your glorious meatsack. Put your best foot forward physically as well as spiritually – take a moment to examine your style critically and make sure it's 'on message' with your goals. If it isn't, tweak it with intent. Glamour is the art of pairing the physical and the energetic. Use it!

“I advocate glamour. Every day. Every minute.” - Dita Von Teese